Between the Labels
by AnaElise
Summary: Fiona is not my girlfriend...
1. Michael

Between the Labels

* * *

><p>Fiona is not my girlfriend.<p>

I still stand by everything I've ever said about me and her, and a relationship.

It wouldn't work out.

She's ex-IRA, a gun runner and takes a little too much enjoyment out of fiery explosions. And I have commitment issues and no tolerance for anniversaries. We'll never have a house, a white picket fence, or a dog. I will never have a nine-to-five job and she will never be a soccer mom.

Fiona and I don't fit into the labels that everyone else expects us to.

A girlfriend is someone who you take out on dates, not jobs. Flirting involves coy and witty banter, not C4 explosions and sniper rifles. A relationship is something you work at and talk about, not run away from stay silent about.

So, you see, Fiona is not my girlfriend.

I told Raines what he needed to hear. The average person looks at the relationship that Fi and I have and automatically assumes she's my girlfriend. We work together, she throws sexual looks and innuendos my way, and occasionally she spends the night.

And now I asked her to move in with me.

But she's still not my girlfriend.

She's so much more. She is my everything.

A girlfriend is not someone you rely on, quite literally, to save your life. I wouldn't trust a girlfriend (or anyone else for that matter) to finish my first, official job for the CIA.

Fiona is the person I rely on to stay sane. She keeps me from going too deep inside myself. She lives life in the moment and doesn't allow the past to define her.

I wouldn't have survived my time in Miami without her. I would have allowed myself to be consumed with thoughts of my burn notice. I wouldn't have taken jobs and helped all the people that I have. I would have been broke, hungry and dead, before too long.

Fiona is not my girlfriend. She is my savior, my friend, my lover, and so much more that words cannot express.

We will not lead conventional lives with a nine-to-five workday, a dog or a house, but we will be happy.

By all accounts and past records our relationship shouldn't work out. But despite everything, we make it work.

We both defy expectations and do the impossible.

We defy the labels assigned to us and create our own niche of possibilities for our future.

The rest of the world doesn't understand. Hell, most of the time I don't understand. But the universe has thrown us together too many times for me to continue to feign indifference… if you believe that kind of stuff, that is.

And so here we are, sitting in this place between the labels. Living our life the way we want, according to our own expectations.

I don't know what's going to happen with my job. I don't know what's going to happen in Miami. All I know is that Fiona will be there with me.

I've tried living without her. I've tried pretending that she's not important to me. And I've come to the conclusion that life without Fiona isn't a life worth living.

But I still wouldn't call her my girlfriend.

* * *

><p>I know it's short but I couldn't get it out of my head. Plus, the way I see it, Micheal is concise and to the point.<p> 


	2. Fiona

Authors Note: So, let me be clear. I never do this. If I finish a one-shot, it's done. However, in this case, I was inspired by the "Mrs. Westen" line in the most recent episode, 'Square One,' and so here we are, from Fiona's point of view.

* * *

><p>To say I was surprised to be referred to as Mrs. Westen is an understatement. But I was even more shocked that Michael didn't correct Ethan in his misconception.<p>

Michael has always been very wary of any labels given to our relationship status. I think it's due to some misguided chivalry thing he has going for him. If his enemies find out he has a "special someone" they'll come after me to get to him, et cetera, et cetera. Personally, I think its bullshit. I can take care of myself. But sometimes, with Michael, he's so stuck in his ways that it's best to just leave him be.

Whenever we are meeting people for the first time it's always "…and this is Fiona," never girlfriend, and never ever wife. At least 'girlfriend' is subjective. You don't need a ceremony or a white dress to be considered a girlfriend.

But he didn't correct Ethan, and so now I'm left wondering. And that can be a very dangerous thing when it comes to Michael Westen.

I wonder what it would be like to be "Mrs. Westen." I wonder about little Westens running around a house in the Irish countryside. I wonder if Michael's failure to correct Ethan's blunder means that he's already thought about this.

But most importantly, I wonder if this would be a life I would want for myself for the rest of my life.

Don't get me wrong now, I love Michael, but loving Michael is a lot easier said than done.

Being with Michael is both the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. He is obsessive, so when his only focus is me, he is all there. He is attentive, caring and passionate. We make love and it feels as if we are the only people on the face of the planet. I have never felt like such a lovesick schoolgirl, but in these moments he brings these feeling out in me. He touches me and I expect to see scorch marks in the path of his fingers. He brings out this passion and fire in me that I have never experienced before. It is the unmistakable, indescribable, feelings of love.

But these moments are fleeting, because, undoubtedly, Michael will find something else to obsess about, and I will be pushed to the back of his mind.

It is those fleeting moments, though, that keep me here, right by Michael's side. I am addicted, and will go through all kinds of emotional torture just to experience that next good fix.

I want to ask him about Ethan's comment. I want to know what he thinks about it. I want to know where we stand in the relationship spectrum. But I hold my tongue. I'm not quite sure I want to know the answer.

We're happy now, he's happy now. And I will do anything to keep it that way. I've come to the conclusion that I need Michael Westen in my life. If he leaves me again like he did in Ireland all those years ago, I'm not quite sure what will happen. I don't like to think about it. But sometimes, when I do think about it, it always ends with me using a few too many explosives on abandoned cars throughout Miami.

I've never been one to need a man in my life, to physically need a man beside to breathe again. And that's what it feels like. I smile when I see a place we went to together. I can't sleep when he's away on secret CIA missions. I get short of breath if I think about living without him.

This is what this man has reduced to me to and I both love him and hate him for it.

But for now, this is where we are. Wherever that is. Not quite Mrs. Westen but more than just "Michael's girlfriend."

A few years ago, this unknown distinction might have bothered me. But Michael and I have never walked the road most traveled by. We make our own way in the world, labels be damned.

* * *

><p>Authors ending note: I got a few comments on 'Let her Cry' that said that they thought that was a bit out of character for Fiona to actually be reduced to tears, and I'm thinking those comment may come again for this one. Maybe I am taking a few liberties in Fiona's emotional states, but in my experience, love often leads people to act out of character, because it is like an addiction. I will refrain from going into the neurological processes that create this addiction-like state, if only so you review to tell me what you think of the story and not how boring my science lecture was.<p> 


	3. Agent Pearce

From the elusive point of view of Agent Pearce

* * *

><p>I had a good laugh when I realized I was putting Michael and Fiona together on a job as a married couple.<p>

In the short time I've known Michael I've come to find that he's very… resistant to any official label put onto himself and Ms. Glenanne. He puts a lot of effort into referring to her only as "Fiona," or combining her with Sam as "my team," never any subjective term that others seem so eager to put onto their significant.

He also seems to be very careful of his proximity to her. They are always a careful distance away from each other, never touching. Not like people would expect two lovers to be touching anyway.

Whenever I was with my fiancé I always loved that contact we had between each other. Whether it was holding hands down the crowded streets, his arm around my waist or shoulders during a movie or my hand on his knee under the dinner table. But my favorite was that lingering kiss he gave me just before we had to leave each other, be it for work or anything else. It was that kiss that was a promise to me that there was more to come, more to experience together.

I would give anything to feel that kiss again.

But I get the sense that Michael is the opposite, at least outwardly.

Any time I see him and Ms. Glenanne together he walks with a purpose, usually a half step in front of her as if he has someplace important to be. He keeps his eyes and senses open to his surroundings like any trained operative would. Any time they are just sitting or standing together he keeps a pose as if he is relaxed but there is still that stiffened, tense posture so he can be ready to move at a moment's notice.

It has not escaped my notice that our situations are similar. When my fiancé and I met, he was an asset. It's really not that uncommon at the agency, assets and agents getting together. But the fact that Michael and Fiona have gone through so much and are still alive is surprising.

I never lied to my fiancé about who I was or what I needed him for. I never spent years apart from him. I was never in as many dangerous situations as Michael Westen seems to find himself in on a regular basis.

And yet Fiona is still there.

I would never admit this to any of my coworkers but I find myself jealous of Fiona Glenanne. She lives by her own rules and own morals. Her file is like an action movie, the beautiful heroine: petite but deadly, with an arsenal of skills and talents that would make many grown men quiver in fear. She fights for the little guy no matter the cost, and in the end finds love in a handsome but aloof American spy.

It's prime time television at its finest.

But I am the opposite of Ms. Glenanne. I follow the rules and I like boundaries and guidelines. I'm similar to Michael in that way. I get the feeling that despite his skills at improvisation he likes operating within the Company's framework.

Michael is flawed though, in his approach to relationships, in my opinion. That contact with another person is precious. Even just the ability to stand in their personal space, to feel that aura of the one you know is the only one for you, it's irreplaceable.

With the occupations that they have chosen the statistics are high that they might not make it to their next birthday.

Those touches are what I dream about, and when I wake up, I know that the fire I feel on my skin is just the remnants of the dream and not his fingers. I just don't want Michael to have to go what I go through. Living in that state of regret of not going to Istanbul, like he wanted, or kissing him goodbye that one last time.

Maybe this job as a married couple will open his eyes, show him how the other half lives: the half who has chosen to bind themselves to another because they can't stand the thought of living without them, the half that wants to announce to the world that this person is the one who I've chosen to be with, no matter what.

But maybe I'm trying to live out my fantasy through Michael and Fiona's relationship. Maybe the labels society puts on us are what hurt relationships. Perhaps the reason I can't seem to move on is because he was my fiancé and not just my boyfriend.

Who am I kidding?

He was the most important man in my life no matter what the rest of the world would have called us.

And I get the feeling that Michael would say the same thing about Fiona.

That's probably a lie, he would never say that out loud. But I'm pretty sure he believes it.

If nothing else, Michael has taught me that words and labels assigned to someone like "burned spy," "traitor," "fiancé," or even "girlfriend" are just words unless you have the true feelings and actions to back them up. Otherwise, they're just words in a file.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: *cringes* So, yes, I lied again when I said this story was complete. My Burn Notice muse came up and bit me in the writing butt despite my claims to the contrary. This season has journeyed through the changing labels of Michael and Fiona just as I have, and I seem to feel the need to capture it at inopportune moments.<p>

I took many, many liberties in the thought processes of Agent Pearce but I get the feeling that she is very detail oriented and has a sarcastic sense of humor despite her pit-bull work ethic.

This story will remain "complete" until the point at which I may or may not add another chapter. Blessings to you for putting up with me.


End file.
